Coping with rejection can be a challenge especially if you love the person who rejected you. If could hurt a lot. If it does you need to allow in this pain. The non acceptance of this pain can keep you more focused on causing you to suffer even more. You may also need to learn to cope with the negative thoughts you have about yourself in a more helpful thought. What happens to you if your mind tells you that you are a loser and or that you will never find anyone to love. You could ask yourself if buying into those thoughts help you get back on track again. If you are struggling too much or really down in dumps seeing therapist may really be of...
Learn MoreProbably enough of us have not suffered from political stress to any significant levels. If you live in California as I do this type of stress has been on the minimal side. With that in mind I see that there are two types of political stress. One is the type that I would say effects you indirectly and the other is when it effects you directly. Probably the first type is something that as a clinician I would likely hesitate to get too involved with in psychotherapy. This may be where someone is complaining about our taxes are too high or they may complain about the traffic lights are too long. As a therapist I would think that there is some other issues are going on. On the other hand if someone states that their brother was taken away by the secret police for their political views then this would be the second type of stress and would need to be dealt with. If some political leader begins to act like a Hitler and you have some anxiety about this I would likely consider this an important issue to be addressed. When we had a new president installed there was an initial reaction of high anxiety or delight by...
Learn MoreI know someone whose dog was diagnosed with a very serious and lethal illness and an issue that came up was managing stress from this. The dog is having good days and not so good days. How does the humans involved with this cope? One way is practicing some of the tools from ACT (Acceptance and Commitment therapy) which is a form of CBT. One tool is practicing being present. Use some of your senses to really notice things like looking at 5 objects or listening to 5 sounds. This can be called Mindfulness. We could practice Acceptance which is the practice of learning how not to struggle with uncomfortable sensations like the sadness or anxiety that can come up in a situation like this. It is also important to realize that not all of our thoughts are helpful to pay attention to so learning how to not attach ourselves to our unhelpful thoughts is also important. A second way of coping is to make sure you allow yourself some time for yourself. If you don’t you may burn yourself out more quickly and or become more resentment towards your pet. Take...
Learn MoreIf you are involved with someone you care about there is bound to be relationship stress. You are bound to see things differently at times whether it is a small issue like what movie to see this evening or a big one like should you allow your teen age daughter to date. As long as you allow some flexibility where practicing the issue becomes more about how we communicate this to our partner. If we take a rigid position I am right you are wrong position there is bound to be conflict. The big C word is something that you are hopefully part of your values. This word is compromise. If in the heat of discussion it is difficult to think of compromising then you may want to utilize some of the techniques from ACT (Acceptance and Commitment therapy) such as appropriate Acceptance of anger by noticing the physical sensations of anger on your body and allowing them to be without getting caught up in the thoughts that are producing...
Learn MoreI have recently returned from holiday and thought it may be time to write about some ways of coping Work Stress. I will start by exploring area and will add on as time goes on. One area is related to our own expectations we have for where we work. Another word for expectations is rules. we have rules for how others can treat us and rules for how we should be acting and performing. These rules usually come with the word Should attached to them. Some of these will include: I shouldn’t make a mistake, I should be treated fairly, I should never be late etc. If you were to write down all the Should thoughts at work you have and try to change the to the word prefer, see what...
Learn MoreI am sorry for the delay in posting something new for this Blog and with that in mind today I will say something on the topic of help with emotions. We cannot stop ourselves from having emotions but we can learn to cope with those emotions that are intense and if we are not careful acting on these emotions can take us away from how we really want to lead our lives. Get intensely angry and then yell at someone may be an example of this. You are single and see someone who you are quite attractive too and want to start talking to them and feel extreme anxiety. You may act on the anxiety by not talking to the person, which, takes you away from the direction you want to try to steer your life. Next blog will offer some tips of how to act on these emotions in away that can help guide you in the direction of your...
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